Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
do herpes really smell.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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