There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
