Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just found a bag of teeth...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I can't trust your balls anymore.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
