every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
