Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
