no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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