I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
