I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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