VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
