If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
