i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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