Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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