My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
