I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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