Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
