Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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