I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
