you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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