Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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