Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
