so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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