just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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