How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
