Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
