I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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