FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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