Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she pinky promised me she was 18
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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