spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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