normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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