I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
