throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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