She is in my trunk
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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