if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
