I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
