just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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