question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I believe in your delicious
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