it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
