no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
