Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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