lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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