god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
