Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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