so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
