I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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