shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
