last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize