Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize