Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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