youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
