Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
