I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
