Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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