I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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