Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So vagazzling was a success
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