ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
