What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
