I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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