then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
