The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
