we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
