someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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