My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
