Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize