We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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