so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
