There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
